“What did she say?” Rafi asked. Sitting in an apartment of one of the highest skyscrapers of New York.  
“’Don’t go. We won’t be able to stay in connection for long.’” Veer said.

“Then what did you do?”

“Left her,”

There was a long silence before anyone of them started speaking again.

“If you wanted her with all your heart, you’d be with her right now.” Rafi said.

“Maybe.” He shrugged.

Veer went out in the balcony with his violin and started playing it. Rafi knew whenever he remembers her,6 he has to play the violin to sink all his regrets and guilt in the music.

Veer put all his words in the notes of the song he was playing and listening to his words, tears started pouring from his eyes like someone was beating him with a whip. 
Back in India, when Veer was sitting opposite the love of his life telling her about his job in New York, he knew he didn’t want this but the fear of losing a superb opportunity made him think that things between them will remain as it is even when he is so distant from his love.
Today, she was married in Delhi and was long gone. Irretrievable. 
A great job, luxurious house, amazing friends and green card for USA couldn’t compensate what he had to trade off for all this. 
Veer went inside. “Rafi, tell me once that there is no going back.” 
“Things we lose always have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect. Wise words by Luna Lovegood.” She said.
Later that month, Veer was sitting in front of a travel magazine CEO. 
“Why are you leaving such a high end job in corporate world to be travel writer?” He asked Veer.
“I have to make peace with my regrets, Sir. I can’t change my past but I don’t want to blame myself in the future. Its my fear thats killing me, this is my only chance to kill my fear. My only chance to forgive myself.” 


2 thoughts on “Forgiveness 

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