It was four in the morning and another sleepless night for Amanda. It had been like a ritual to her now, staying in bed and crying all night. She could only feel one thing very clearly, emptiness. It was difficult for her to stop welcoming all the pessimistic thoughts that her mind was producing every second. She stealthily looked at her husband sleeping beside her and started thinking of the time when they both began dating. How happy they were and how exciting life was, stuff like this no longer helped her overcome her negative thoughts. She still loved her husband and never actually wished to hurt him. But she never told him her feelings because she feared that then he would know that she is unreal. Out of darkness she put her hand on her stomach bump and thought this would be a perfect gift for him.
Then at the hospital when Amanda held little Amanda in her arms and saw her hazel eyes, they were nothing like hers because they were lively and happy. Her husband asked her what should they name there little girl. Amanda cried “HOPE”. Because then she realized that this was the perfect gift for her too.